Hai Romale! Display the Virginity's Flag!

Bring the Sheet!

Virginity...

What a shukar* word... and world!
Especially for guys!

A little bird told me that almost every man dreams of having sex with a virgin. To conquer not merely the virgin's innocent heart, but also her “tightly closed door” means to be a real warrior... One who is very, very courageous when it comes to sex. So, appreciate, ladies, those men who had sex with virgins! Not all are so lucky!
They are a few ... You can count them by using your 20 fingers... And the bad news is that soon will disappear at all... They will have to be registered in the “Red Book” ... As well as virgins...

Nowadays virginity is something special, an extraordinary phenomena which is a very rare treasure among young people... But not in Gypsies' families...

Gypsies approach this matter with gravity... According to their traditions, a girl MUST be a virgin until the wedding night. She has to bid farewell to the “magic sheath” amid the wedding party.

Whereas your guests savor the taste of popping black Caviars and drink expensive vodka, the bride and her future husband leave and guess, what do they do?

Oh yes!!! “Dinga-dinga!” They make love.

Needless to mention: on a white blanket or piece of fabric. What for? Shame on you! Of course! To display that piece of sheet adorned with an enticing spot of blood to all wedding guests.

Hip-hip hurrah! The bride was a virgin! Hai, Romale! The bride was a virgin! Here is the proof! Respect and dowry to the bridal couple!

The fiesta continues... while the joyful match maker dances with that piece of sheet all night long!

One more thing to mention. If the budding husband is not capable to do “that”... Well, there are many reasons why he couldn't (exhaustion because of too much dancing or vodka, emotions... her first sexual experience, after all)... Eccola!- the match maker interferes... Usually the match maker is an old woman who wears a few bright petticoats, tones of gold on fingers (don't know about the toes) and some rows of red colored necklaces around the neck...

Match Maker Rescues Rangers!

So, if the man can't assume the responsibility to “love” his woman, the match maker performs it instead of his “flaccid” tool. How does she do that? No idea... Maybe with her finger or with a super-duper elaborate vibrator... Well, I don't really know the concrete techniques but THE SPOT HAS TO BE ON THE FABRIC!!! By all means...

Now I am thinking... As I know, many girls don't bleed when they lose virginity. What's happening then? Will the guests believe the match maker and poor innocent wife?

It remains for me to add that I would never like to have sex with a wrinkled finger of an old woman! (that's in case I marry a Gypsy or restore my virginity!)

shukar*- The word comes from Gypsy language and it generally means cool, beautiful, nice, etc.

Ouch! Mom's Daughters, But so Different...

Czech vs Russia

I like to travel. No wonder I am a wicked Sagittarius!
I like to take pictures.
I love my country. But my curiosity is piqued when it comes to other “distant territories”. Far away, I feel free, relaxed and happy... Truly free! No responsibilities! No work! No monotony!
Only new sensations! Over there I have fun, I meet new people and “collect” new moments for my life's album.

Recently I was in Prague, Czech Republic. It was the YMCA Europe Festival held between 3^rd - 9^th August, 2008.

The weather was excellent! Young men were joyful and my mood was extraordinary!

So, here we are in Prague! Where everything is POZOR! Wherever you go and turn around, at every corner – POZOR!

What does it mean?

As I fluently speak Russian it was amusing for me to find out that the Czech word “POZOR” reminded me of the Russian word “ПОЗОР” which means “DISGRACE”.

Well, I have found its meaning in no time! It's all about “ATTENTION”or “CAUTION”
So what do we have? - “ATTENTION!” and “DISGRACE”. 2 different meanings! The same spelling! The same root!

“Ty vonaš!”= “You smell nice!” Say it to a Czech lady and she'll present you with a sexy smile you'll never forget.
Say it to a Russian girl and get ready to get a sexy kick! She will understand it as: “Tы воняешь!” which means “You stink!”

That was a note of “umor” (Russian) = humor and “umor” (Czech) = repayment (as mortgage repayment)... The first variant is better in this case...

Great tricks! :))

And what's funny is that both languages have the same Mom, called Slavic. One daughter is christened West Slavic (Czech) and the another one - East Slavic (Russian).

The same Mom! Two sisters! But so different!

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the whole world."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Test: Left vs Right!

OK! Just something relaxing and funny!

Perhaps you know that our brain has two hemispheres. The left hemisphere controls the right side of the body. The right hemisphere - the left side.

The left hemisphere is the “residence” of communication, numbers, words, ability to analyze and logically think. Left hemisphere deals with mathematics, science, calculation and rationality.
Traditional left hemisphere dominant proffessions: engineer, economist, mathematician, administrator, lawyer, chemist, etc.

The right hemisphere is responsible for one's voice intonation, music, imagination, rhythm, perception of colors.
If the left hemisphere is tightly related to logic, the right hemisphere is about intuition, illogic, Platonism, spirituality, poetry, romance, religion, myth.
Traditional right hemisphere dominant proffessions: actor, musician, drawer, dancer, singer, poet, psychologist, manager, artist, philosopher, etc.

Now... In order to test which side of you brain is dominant stare for 30 seconds at this nicely-shaped woman spinning around... Focus on her movements:



According to The Daily Telegraph, if the dancer turns clockwise that means that the right side of your brain is dominant and vice versa. Play fair! And don't spin around in your chair! Don't tilt your head back for the image to appear in other foreshortening.

The researchers of the Yale University dedicated 5 years to analyzing the human brain and its functions. It was concluded that both directions can be seen. Most people see the dancing lady turning anti-clockwise. However, 14 % of the surveyed subjects changed the direction of the spinning body. Those who can do it are said to “own” an IQ over 160.
So, if you try your best to concentrate on this rotating body you may succeed in changing the directions of the spinning woman.

The final verdict?!! I AM A GENIUS!!!! No more comments!

Men don't need Mute Swans under Sheets!

Well, if there is something in this world that would embarrass me very, very much is the way I look during ... my "little death"!

One thing is clear! I am absolutely sure that it isn't so expressive and overwhelming as that of Jennifer Aniston in “Bruce Almighty” or Meg Ryan in “When Harry met Sally”.

Mine is something like this:
The back curves like a playful cord of a guitar... A position that makes me look like one of Tchaikovsky's swans ready for a 5-seconds migration to an euphoric realm.
Warm, ripe, soft, rosy-cheeked... With a mime that radiates satisfaction, fulfillment...
2 dizzy eyes that are largely opened up but, actually, don't see anything... I would say orgasms make me blind. And a roaring voice that wakes up a whole district... It surpasses even the morning cackling of the neighbor's hens.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. Perfectly related to me.

The funniest thing is that men are so confident, ladies, when we are so artistic and naughty during the intercourse. P'raps, mute swans are more appreciated than whistling ones when it comes to quotidian problems, housework and daily events. But, it's not a secret that all men want to satisfy a prima donna in their bedroom. And although men are said to love with their hungry eyes even the most “stifling” groan emitted by a woman during intercourse is welcomed with tumultuous applauses.

So, no more pantomime, womankind! Take some opera classes, listen to Maria Callas' etudes and drink raw eggs in the morning. For a more appealing voice!

Who are Chattier, Men or Women?

Last week I presented my parents with 2 dandy parrots. Today they are christened Sophie and either Rome, Casper, Scooby, Snoopy or perhaps Chip... Not yet officially nicknamed.

What's surprising is that when it comes to the Realm of Parrots females are less valuable than males. They even cost much less than male parrots. Voila! A note of discrimination, you see!
The story goes that the owner of a light colored beak and the “producer” of eggs is not capable to sing and say words. Parrot males pretend they are real polyglots, sworn brothers with Pavarotti and ultra-mega-super-extra skillful linguists! They are said to have phenomenal talking abilities.

How about humans? Who proved to be as talkative as a male parrot, women or men?
According to some surveys a woman uses 8000 words per day to express herself while a man - a mere 3000.
That means women are around three times more garrulous than men. However, 2 minutes ago I've found out that this is a pure myth. Men need around 300 words to keep pace with women. Well, to my mind that should be the last thing for a man to compete with a woman.

So, whom to believe? What's the chattiest gender? Who's the most blah-blah-blah-stic, he or she?