An Ordinary Day of a Man...

Martians' Whims

I've spent my yesterday not alone. Accompanied by 5 of my friends. 5 interesting ladies. Cute, intelligent, wise, all different and joyful. When we make such gatherings we do have a lot to discuss. Starting with our jobs, hobbies, relatives, common friends and ending with our future plans and men, each of us has the chance to express herself. We comment, criticize, advice, recommend, laugh, support and go crazy. It's a kind of bee or evening sitting of village women... With champagne, cognac or Baileys... Some exotic fruits and chocolate... Voila! - the atmosphere for relaxation and enjoyment is guaranteed...

Yesterday was a special brainstorming. Totally dedicated to men. To our boyfriends and their cranks. In fact, all our encounters end up with stories about our beloved owners of testicles.

Men's weird habits

Generally, Martians are very ingenious. They have pounds of fun in them and they do things that we, ladies can't comprehend but accept. As namely these whim-whams make our life spicier and entertaining.

For instance, Irene's boyfriend likes to periodically gift her with sensual dances:
"- But, amies! Clowns go to rest! He makes it so... seriously! He has a big, bombastic belly that truly makes me laugh. He looks like one of those mysterious chiefs who allures his tribe through this fascinating dance and seductive bass drum... He really thinks his striptease turns me on! Well, it's not really so. A few feathers around the waist, a sparkling lance in his hand and he's perfect for being departed in the savage world. His tantalizing motions will make native women be on cloud nine... And moreover, continues she, he adores to look at the microwave glass door carefully. He eagerly stares at that tasteful piece of meat that temptingly rotates in the oven. He takes a chair, sits down and without diverting attention from the microwave's display gazes after it. He looks like watching a very interesting, frantic, absorbing movie! That's extremely amusing...”

Dana's ex-boyfriend used to twitch his eyebrows when was dissatisfied and angry. After such a quarrel, Dana looked at him more attentively... My lovely mom! Mona Lisa in propria persona! Just a pair of straws... Afterwards, he was taking Danutsa's brown mascara to restore his arrow-shaped ornaments.

Attention! The best from the West! Angelique's boyfriend is the most ingenious and waggish. If he goes to bed nude he will make sure his "treasure" is rolled in a handkerchief. “Perhaps he is afraid I will accidentally tear it in the midnight! I asked him why does he wear this fabric on his rod and he told me he can't sleep in the costume of Adam. Aside from this habit, he loves to dry up his “adorable” testicles. He uses to sit on a chair, move his legs apart hanging all this stuff... and pulling them... To dry them out. Sort of like. Meanwhile I am eating, for example. Very appetizing...”
Angelique's man is unicum!

Mine, ladies and gentlemen is a good boy. He is obedient. Wise. Kind and tender. Optimistic. But lazy... Damn it! I hate this trait! He likes to sleeeeeeep a lot. You'd better stay away from him if he hadn't savored a piece of chicken or pork yet. One more drawback - he's very greedy when it comes to compliments.

In contempt of all his negative traits my man has a very beautiful belly-button. Every time I want to play with it I find there a surprise for me. Fuzz, fluff, a piece of thread... This opening is a kind of storage case. Strategically designed to surprise!

My boyfriend has a special approach to my breasts. Of course, he would like to titillate Pam's boobs or at least one size bigger than mine. But, appreciate what God has gifted you with! 2 jewelries - Mariah Carey (the right one) and Celine Dion (the left one which is smaller than Mariah). No doubts! His favorite is Mariah! I don't remember why he has christened them like that. They don't sing.

Furthermore, when he's playing computer games he broils, feels deeply and suffers so much that it hurts me. Still I can't abstain from wondering of his reactions. He makes such a doleful face and shrieks like a wounded buffalo! One evening I was speaking with my Mom on the phone and Mamma Mia! Such a 600-floored obscenity! I was electrified! My mom was shocked! “- It's ok, Mom. He was shot in Counter-Strike. Don't worry. He'll be good.”

If we will spend more time on searching for other “flashes” of our men, we would find more and more. Cause all they are unique walking maggots. Freakies who make our quotidian life more hilarious. Enjoyable. Funny.

Shortly, we love you, guys! Like that!

PS. What weird habbits do you or your lover have?

Let's “Christen” your Baby Blog!

You face difficulties when it comes to “christening” your blog? Hakuna Matata! XOXO throws the lifebuoy! “Swim” in here and “swallow” some ideas at full speed... Smutty ones.

I guess you know the importance of the blog's title. A “colorful” title is like the appealing flavor of the scrummy cheese cake of my grandma... The more delicious the smell, the more cute you look when you drool and the more uplifting curiosity... desire to taste a piece...
Then you create super-duper combinations and associations that comfortably “park” into your mind... And remain there forever.

So, ladies and gentlemen! Just 3 drops of humor flavored with some ounces of imagination... Blend and mix the potion then put it in a special form... Abracadabra! And your blog is on top...”The funniest titles you have ever seen!”

Now let's start the christening ceremony! I've just virtually cut the red ribbon and sumptuously declare the process opened! Here below you see a collection of some virgin and free hilarious titles you are invited to generously inspire from:

ZooLand (for those who associate themselves with an animal or love animals)

Medusa with Earrings (jewelry)
Chicken with the Third Leg (diseases)
Amoeba with the Highly Developed Right Hemisphere (geniuses, IQ games)
Lord of the Dogs (about dogs)
The Chronicles of a Creeper (philosophy or chronicles of a lazy person)
The Flying Snake (blah-blah-blah, something original)
The Glittered Sheep (glamorous girls, fashion, en vogue things)
The Glow-in-the Dark Cat (mystery and notes of sensuality)
Septapus with Manicured Nails (beauty)
The Long-Eared Kangaroo (beauty)
The Giraffe Wearing Stiletto Heels (sensuality)
The Girly Shark (sensuality)
The Zebra with Dimples and Beauty Spot (beauty, flirty)
The Cow Watches News (news, cognitive)
Bulls Drink Red Bull (entertainment)

Phenomenas

The funny PMS (women's eccentric thoughts)
Aquatic Thoughts (for divers )
The Liver of the Book (about books)
Dead Love (for pessimists)
The Virtual Polyglot (cognitive, linguistic)
The Optimistic Phantom
The Pessimistic Phantom
666 Black Nuances (evil thoughts, blog of a criminal)
-isms Rule (about communism, socialism, priapism or many other -isms)
The Killer with Rose Cheeks

Diverse Objects

The Joyful Land Tank (about weapons, warriors and realistic people)
The Syrup of Tears in the Nose (for pessimists, about soap operas and dramas)
Second Hand Harley (second hand stuff)
The Elegant Teaspoon (vessels)
The Heterosexual Armchair (furniture for all)

"Subtle" Eroticism

Camouflaged Panties
Diapers for Fetishists
Porno-Bunny
Pro-Slut
Anti-Slut
One Toy for All, and All Toys for One
No More Panties

Feminine

Eva with no Hair (about hair and capillary stuff)
Ok.Ob (about tampons)
Venusians vs Martians (independent women)
The Lady with Testicles (strong women)

Did you like at least one?! Did you find the perfect title for your budding blog? Choose a category and invent your own titles... Just for fun...

PS. Dedicated to those who like to smile...

Ouch! Mom's Daughters, But so Different...

Czech vs Russia

I like to travel. No wonder I am a wicked Sagittarius!
I like to take pictures.
I love my country. But my curiosity is piqued when it comes to other “distant territories”. Far away, I feel free, relaxed and happy... Truly free! No responsibilities! No work! No monotony!
Only new sensations! Over there I have fun, I meet new people and “collect” new moments for my life's album.

Recently I was in Prague, Czech Republic. It was the YMCA Europe Festival held between 3^rd - 9^th August, 2008.

The weather was excellent! Young men were joyful and my mood was extraordinary!

So, here we are in Prague! Where everything is POZOR! Wherever you go and turn around, at every corner – POZOR!

What does it mean?

As I fluently speak Russian it was amusing for me to find out that the Czech word “POZOR” reminded me of the Russian word “ПОЗОР” which means “DISGRACE”.

Well, I have found its meaning in no time! It's all about “ATTENTION”or “CAUTION”
So what do we have? - “ATTENTION!” and “DISGRACE”. 2 different meanings! The same spelling! The same root!

“Ty vonaš!”= “You smell nice!” Say it to a Czech lady and she'll present you with a sexy smile you'll never forget.
Say it to a Russian girl and get ready to get a sexy kick! She will understand it as: “Tы воняешь!” which means “You stink!”

That was a note of “umor” (Russian) = humor and “umor” (Czech) = repayment (as mortgage repayment)... The first variant is better in this case...

Great tricks! :))

And what's funny is that both languages have the same Mom, called Slavic. One daughter is christened West Slavic (Czech) and the another one - East Slavic (Russian).

The same Mom! Two sisters! But so different!

For You, Who Takes Life Too Seriously!

Life Jokes

• He who laughs last thinks slowest.

• Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
  

• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  

• Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
  

• Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  

• How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...