“Once You Love Me, You Have to Trust Me, Honey!”

How many of us were lovingly disarmed by this dulcifying phrase?

When you trust a man, you absorb almost everything. Every delicate touch, sensual glance, pleasant word, gentle gesture and even the most puzzled lie. You are like a sponge.

He comes home with his SHE LOOKED GOOD LAST NIGHT T-shirt’s inscriptions on his chest… Ohhh, poor man! Shame on you! Of course, he has put that garment on in a hurry this morning. The man is stressed and tensioned. He works hard. He has no time to spoil his eyes in the mirror as you permanently do.

Does he work on Saturdays and Sundays? Gee! Say thank you, darling, that your man has a job and pray that the global crisis and unemployment does not affect you, ok?

Didn’t he answer your calls today? Hmm, I wonder how you didn’t notice that. You don't care him at all! His cell phone discharged and turned off but right after the lunch he had an unplanned meeting… That’s called business, lady!

Did he promise he’ll come home this Saturday a little bit earlier than usual? Yes, you’ve planned to go to the theater at 17.00 o' clock. But woow!!! A magic moment happened! A fantastic wonder and coincidence! While driving home and thinking of "Romeo and Juliette" your be-be has noticed his old buddy Jackson walking sadly on the street… Do you remember that bald fellow from the faculty nicknamed RAMBO? You got it?! And they were so happy they met each other. They purred and span memories for a good piece of night in the club.

Why didn’t he give you a call to let you know whether he’s great? Oh, don’t be nervous and don’t cry like a goose in the station! You have to pardon him! He didn’t want to look like a bull under his spouse’ stiletto heel before Jackson… He didn’t want to look like the one who reports each further action to his wife. That’s not serious, don’t you think?

Hasn’t he pampered your erogenous zones for several months or so? Damn it! You think of absurdities and stupid things, woman! You see what happens if you don’t have anything to do?! A honest, decent wife is peacefully awaiting until the crisis vaporizes and then, after the recovery, she dares dream of instants of ecstasy.

And thus the wife is waiting.

Waiting and waiting until she realizes something. The past, with all those weird, freak, strange peculiarities suddenly makes sense. When she puts those tones closer to each other, like a puzzle, she finally understands that the crisis, that pitilessly tortures her man wears silicone boobs, has blonde cascading hair and a feminine name.

And see what happens now. A spectacular show of paradoxes. When the jealousy and the sense of ownership wake up in a woman, the relationship steps into a comic phase. It starts the reconquering of the man phase with the entire packet included. She quickly runs at the stylist and a few beauty saloons and then she halts for a moment at the church. She lights on a candle and cries with pain cursing his paramour (the f.. whore… How could she dare finger her husband?!!!!). Then she decides to go to the nearest fitness club and practice sport (for being more plastic and elastic when it comes to those new positions from Kama Sutra)… Then she changes her wardrobe and style of clothing, buys candles, romantic CDs and wears the sexiest lingerie she has ever had!

The fear that another woman could put the paw on her precious exemplar with testicles makes her go through the roof. And that makes her reason very, very smoky, ridiculous. She is 100 % sure that the culprit in here is the f… g whore, that young blonde, stinking prostitute… She carries out all the sins. That’s as clear as eggs is eggs.

But why do many women forgive men without the latter ones to apologize?

Perhaps for never implicating their spouses in awful situations. Even our grand-grand mothers knew and taught us that forgiveness for a man means humiliation. Poor them! They have to be PRO-TECTED. Just like Pandas or white tigers. While the mistresses must be LI-QUI-DA-TED!!! By all means!

PS. If speaking about cheating, I like this picture :)