Relationships are just like journeys. Some are short. Others are long-lasting. Some are fruitful, rich. Others are painful and “effervescent”. Some have a destination. Others are tightly wrapped. Trustful ones. Kinky ones. Plain or empty ones. They all exist. Moreover, there are many “love affairs” that finish right on the eve of happy holidays. Still, I am not capable to explain this phenomenon. But I've noticed that. Santa Claus, the old man with rosy cheeks, bombastic belly and swollen nose brings a pair of shoes for everyone. You may receive a pair of shining, glazed, charming boots. Or you may be gifted with a pair of discolored shoes with no heel pieces, no sole, no decorations, no spark. The heaviest and the XXXL-st you have ever seen!
- What now? Who's the culprit? Why me?
Yes, I know. Separation is like a little death. It is very painful, burning, awful when you see your heart breaking and can't heal it. You feel weak. Exhausted. The tumultuous avalanche of feelings, agony and torment of love strangulate every millimeter of your body and mind. In fact, you can trundle and trample your suffering, emotions and sentiments... but not your Dignity. Never!
- “Damn it! What dignity? I love him!” will shriek a lot of you.
- You do! He - doesn't! Any more questions?
Dignity is like a skeleton. A bundle of bones that must be kept always vertically. By all means. That's the ingredient you need the most for bringing into being a durable and beautiful love-story. And if you leave it to break down, bid farewell to your happiness. Terrible, isn't it? Oh yes! Especially when you wake up too late surrounded by 12 yawning cats, 13 fluffy dogs and dozens of talkative parrots that imitate in unison the ring of an old-fashioned telephone.
Now, from that moment when you hear “We must separate! I don't love you anymore”, “I have another woman”, this is it. You proudly raise your mandible from the table without spelling a word. Then you delicately take your handbag, look in the mirror, you sensually “paint” your lips with that red glittered lipstick. You strive to boldly claim “Thank you!” like a real lady and gently close the door. Be a real heroine! A real Jeanne d’Arc! Don’t let him notice a tear in your eyes! Pass by a few bus stations and then start crying. Cry in all tonalities and volumes available. Let your coat generously tremble on you! Don’t be ashamed of those 200 pairs of eyes that goggle at you! Cry, baby! Cry me a river! Otherwise you may face a “delectable” infarct!
Another option is to call all your friends. Just to lament. Cry. Laugh. You dispose of an hour to make your fellows be well up in your emotional catastrophe and then let them entertain you. Let the celebration start! You will fall asleep with a happy mood and the idea of Armageddon will not torture you… until morning at least…
Disappear from his life! Forever- ever!
No more emails, calls, letters imbued with ocular secretions, no more research, investigation and you'd better leave the opera glasses of your grandmother in that cupboard. Be absent, passive...He will be really intrigued. The fact that you are not available anymore for him shows that you are not interested in wasting your time on someone who doesn’t want to talk to you. That's what I call dignity. And the dignity is respected.
Make yourself comfortable and look after your own life!
But in the most awful moments... during those dull moments of internal and infernal war... (but they will be) think that you don’t deserve a man who makes you feel like that… unhappy, in love, with a swollen face and a red nose full of salted tears… I don’t think you have to try this taste! No more!
9 comments:
Wow XO, powerful...I will have to come back to it when Ive pondered your words a little :)
Hi XOXO. That was a most revealing, emotional post and beautifully written. Thankyou for sharing it :) It made me sad for your broken heart though, especially the part after a few bus stations ... :(
I thought the way you left that room was indeed very classy - the whole thing handled with great dignity! And I agree with your thinking : you don’t deserve a man who hurts you like that.
Dignity... to keep yours while others fall, is powerful. To walk away, cut contact is heartbreakingly hard, to hold you head up when inside you are dying... is the same ....one g/f of mine (god I do love them) said simply to me, the best revenge is to live a good life & she proved true.
Funny the Christmas link. I was betrayed awfully just before a Christmas, I cut all contact. It was one of the emotionally hardest things I ever did and didnt think I would recover... last week I was reminded that I survived, grew,(he has not) and I am more powerful for it...
Sorry to waffle on, I related to this very much... ta beautiful lady
Oh, A'Jay! I have to totally agree with you and consolidate one more time the idea that life continues, people should forgive and go further.
I am so happy for you, A'Jay that you have overcome that bitter betrayal. Strong women, who respect and trust themselves will always go through awful moments with dignity, courage and optimism. Of course, it's easy to say it but very-very hard to do it.
Thank you, lady for your thoughts!
Diver, my friend! Thank you for support... In fact this story is not about me. It's about one of my best friends. And I feel pity for her. But she is a strong lady. She will get over this dull episode of her life. Undoubtedly! We, her friends are always nearby...
Phew, I was fretting for you. Now I'm sad for your friend. But I'm also very happy knowing that you're ok and won't be crying a river this christmas!
true...
Merry christmas!
Oh, Diver, thank you.
Angel Bear, thank you for kind wishes!
Merry Christamas to all you, my friends!
What a powerful and moving post. I can personally relate to it and I am sure the other women we know can do so also.
I am new to your blog and I appreciate the way you are able to convey written feelings
Linda
Dear Linda, thank you for your kind comment.
I am really happy you've visited my blog...
Hope you will like my other writings, too.
Thank you.
xo
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