Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi Ce Soir?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
They say people talk more about sex than engage in it. Especially now, with the access to the unlimited garden of the Internet chatting has grown just like yeast in warm, moist conditions.
Lots of people consider the virtual world as an erotic fantasy, in which you can evade just by one click. Passing through a beaten path of clicks and allusions many e-amateurs end up their dialogues with stripping themselves. You need minimum effort to find an e-partner with whom to trundle through the hollows of pleasure. One more snap on the click… and you leave him/her in the lurch and rush quickly in the bathroom without coming back and leaving at least an innocent feedback. Something like: “Thank you, I’ve climaxed. Very noisily and foamy…! You were amazing!”
And as the advantage of the Internet is the speed, men are using it successfully. The matrix in their heads is already activated, trained and up-dated. They need just three affirmative answers to the following questions: “Do you have big boobs?”, “Do you perform oral sex?”, “You like it, yes…!?” A warm palm, one pop here, one more there and in a few minutes he’s already on the crest of the Big O!
Women, unfortunately, often remain disappointed. Especially those who can not reach for the Realm of Little Death without groans and whispers in the ears: “Ah! I want you…I kiss you… Oh yes! Just like that, on your suave neck… upper… Your tits smell of barberries…Hhmmm…” The truth is that men have neither time nor patience and habits to locate the “hill” on the keyboard.
Those men who are endowed with enough patience are precisely “equipped” with a sense of humor, too. And when his physically exhausted left hand will demand for a moment of piece after a few artisanal orgasms his right hand will throw a joke like this: “Ha! Look! I’ve found a lock inside your belly button!” Damn it! Never, none of the women hadn’t accepted and will never appreciate such a joke. Even though it is virtual. Even if it is said by a stranger. She’ll stay angry in front of the screen at least one month after the impact.
In a nutshell, the Internet hasn’t become yet a territory with equal rights when it comes to orgasms. E-sex is a game in which women lose. Probably because they search for more than a simple game…
Posted by XOXO at 10:37 AM 10 comments
Labels: XXX-files
A Sour Cream Has Redeemed Me Into Childhood!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Today, I've opened up a Daisy BRAND Sour Cream and a very warm smile fondled my face. I've found a simple phrase which imbued my mind with a dulcifying thought for that moment... I miss my friends...
The most precious thing one can make is a friend.
I like the policy of this company. A dollop of gratitude mixed up with a few instants of panacea for the soul is always bienvenue! For everybody! And I like their sour cream... For real! It feels and tastes like the one of Marusyca - the cow that me and my plump pink-cheeked friend used to feed, spoil, promenade and even milk 20 years ago. And that fat, yellowish consistence was 100.000.000 multiplied by n % natural!!!! It was ... FABULOUS! Marusyca was the most precious treasure my neighbor’s grandmother had. That obedient, beautiful cow brought money, food, happiness, warmth, care and peace in that house... While this sour cream, its taste and the pack's design has redeemed me into my innocent, playful, colorful childhood!
Posted by XOXO at 8:17 PM 6 comments
Labels: ingenious minds, oh-la-la-la feelings
“Once You Love Me, You Have to Trust Me, Honey!”
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
How many of us were lovingly disarmed by this dulcifying phrase?
Does he work on Saturdays and Sundays? Gee! Say thank you, darling, that your man has a job and pray that the global crisis and unemployment does not affect you, ok?
Did he promise he’ll come home this Saturday a little bit earlier than usual? Yes, you’ve planned to go to the theater at 17.00 o' clock. But woow!!! A magic moment happened! A fantastic wonder and coincidence! While driving home and thinking of "Romeo and Juliette" your be-be has noticed his old buddy Jackson walking sadly on the street… Do you remember that bald fellow from the faculty nicknamed RAMBO? You got it?! And they were so happy they met each other. They purred and span memories for a good piece of night in the club.
And see what happens now. A spectacular show of paradoxes. When the jealousy and the sense of ownership wake up in a woman, the relationship steps into a comic phase. It starts the reconquering of the man phase with the entire packet included. She quickly runs at the stylist and a few beauty saloons and then she halts for a moment at the church. She lights on a candle and cries with pain cursing his paramour (the f.. whore… How could she dare finger her husband?!!!!). Then she decides to go to the nearest fitness club and practice sport (for being more plastic and elastic when it comes to those new positions from Kama Sutra)… Then she changes her wardrobe and style of clothing, buys candles, romantic CDs and wears the sexiest lingerie she has ever had!
The fear that another woman could put the paw on her precious exemplar with testicles makes her go through the roof. And that makes her reason very, very smoky, ridiculous. She is 100 % sure that the culprit in here is the f… g whore, that young blonde, stinking prostitute… She carries out all the sins. That’s as clear as eggs is eggs.
Posted by XOXO at 5:43 PM 4 comments
Labels: the autopsy of a couple
Listen to Your Soul!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
I mean filled with
Some will come true just by letting them occur. Others need more effort, assertiveness and a special approach…
For those who need a moment of piece and meditation, here are some words of Neale Donald Walsch which are beautifully “imbued” with images and music…
"Some will be able to hear.
Some will be able only to listen.
Some will hear nothing."
Posted by XOXO at 1:04 PM 3 comments
Labels: gospel truth, oh-la-la-la feelings