Saturday, November 29, 2008

Tombe la Neige!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Today, ladies and gentlemen!

That happened today! When the first pieces of winter "embellished" the air in my region. That was so wonderful! Soooo...
Fa-buuu-lous!!! Like in a fairy tale.

- Snowflakes! Look outside! It's snowing, a co-worker shouted.
- Geeeee! Snowflakes!!!

And the glad news was heralded to all those who hadn't noticed yet the beautiful party behind the window. We were so happy. Like children.
I was wearing a smile from here to... let it be Australia! And that's great when you feel joyful because of some playful, minuscule buddies whirling in the air...

The fall has almost faded away... No more pieces of autumn, no more leaves, no more birds, no bees or vivid colors... No more smiles on people's faces. Grey and black garments, pinkish cheeks and noses... long nights and "castrated" facial expressions...

But soon... very soon...
Just a few twenty-four-hours and Its Majesty Winter knocks at the door...and then...
Again -

Come-Hither Masks!

Monday, November 24, 2008

"No need to be afraid of the dentist - with Colgate Smiles kids' toothbrushes." - that's the message these dandy surgical masks must get across in a striking way. For lightening up the visit to the dentist for the children and you, too.
Do you really think you or your kid will go to the dentist from now on?

Martians' Whims

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I've spent my yesterday not alone. Accompanied by 5 of my friends. 5 interesting ladies. Cute, intelligent, wise, all different and joyful. When we make such gatherings we do have a lot to discuss. Starting with our jobs, hobbies, relatives, common friends and ending with our future plans and men, each of us has the chance to express herself. We comment, criticize, advice, recommend, laugh, support and go crazy. It's a kind of bee or evening sitting of village women... With champagne, cognac or Baileys... Some exotic fruits and chocolate... Voila! - the atmosphere for relaxation and enjoyment is guaranteed...

Yesterday was a special brainstorming. Totally dedicated to men. To our boyfriends and their cranks. In fact, all our encounters end up with stories about our beloved owners of testicles.
Men's weird habits

Generally, Martians are very ingenious. They have pounds of fun in them and they do things that we, ladies can't comprehend but accept. As namely these whim-whams make our life spicier and entertaining.

For instance, Irene's boyfriend likes to periodically gift her with sensual dances:
"- But, amies! Clowns go to rest! He makes it so... seriously! He has a big, bombastic belly that truly makes me laugh. He looks like one of those mysterious chiefs who allures his tribe through this fascinating dance and seductive bass drum... He really thinks his striptease turns me on! Well, it's not really so. A few feathers around the waist, a sparkling lance in his hand and he's perfect for being departed in the savage world. His tantalizing motions will make native women be on cloud nine... And moreover, continues she, he adores to look at the microwave glass door carefully. He eagerly stares at that tasteful piece of meat that temptingly rotates in the oven. He takes a chair, sits down and without diverting attention from the microwave's display gazes after it. He looks like watching a very interesting, frantic, absorbing movie! That's extremely amusing...”

Dana's ex-boyfriend used to twitch his eyebrows when was dissatisfied and angry. After such a quarrel, Dana looked at him more attentively... My lovely mom! Mona Lisa in propria persona! Just a pair of straws... Afterwards, he was taking Danutsa's brown mascara to restore his arrow-shaped ornaments.

Attention! The best from the West! Angelique's boyfriend is the most ingenious and waggish. If he goes to bed nude he will make sure his "treasure" is rolled in a handkerchief. “Perhaps he is afraid I will accidentally tear it in the midnight! I asked him why does he wear this fabric on his rod and he told me he can't sleep in the costume of Adam. Aside from this habit, he loves to dry up his “adorable” testicles. He uses to sit on a chair, move his legs apart hanging all this stuff... and pulling them... To dry them out. Sort of like. Meanwhile I am eating, for example. Very appetizing...”
Angelique's man is unicum!

Mine, ladies and gentlemen is a good boy. He is obedient. Wise. Kind and tender. Optimistic. But lazy... Damn it! I hate this trait! He likes to sleeeeeeep a lot. You'd better stay away from him if he hadn't savored a piece of chicken or pork yet. One more drawback - he's very greedy when it comes to compliments.

In contempt of all his negative traits my man has a very beautiful belly-button. Every time I want to play with it I find there a surprise for me. Fuzz, fluff, a piece of thread... This opening is a kind of storage case. Strategically designed to surprise!

My boyfriend has a special approach to my breasts. Of course, he would like to titillate Pam's boobs or at least one size bigger than mine. But, appreciate what God has gifted you with! 2 jewelries - Mariah Carey (the right one) and Celine Dion (the left one which is smaller than Mariah). No doubts! His favorite is Mariah! I don't remember why he has christened them like that. They don't sing.

Furthermore, when he's playing computer games he broils, feels deeply and suffers so much that it hurts me. Still I can't abstain from wondering of his reactions. He makes such a doleful face and shrieks like a wounded buffalo! One evening I was speaking with my Mom on the phone and Mamma Mia! Such a 600-floored obscenity! I was electrified! My mom was shocked! “
- It's ok, Mom. He was shot in Counter-Strike. Don't worry. He'll be good.”

If we will spend more time on searching for other “flashes” of our men, we would find more and more. Cause all they are unique walking maggots. Freakies who make our quotidian life more hilarious. Enjoyable. Funny.

Shortly, we love you, guys! Like that!

PS. What weird habbits do you or your lover have?

Does this Image Bring Together the Past and Present?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

What do you see in here?

Monday, November 17, 2008

If you don't ask,
the answer will always

What is Life?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

It happened one sunny day in the afternoon. The park was enjoying the silence that has generously dominated every inch of it.

On the branches of the trees birds were peacefully sitting in the shadow. Most of them were sleeping. Others were meditating...

Suddenly a dandy baby sparrow shook its head and posed a philosophical question: “What is life?

The park woke up in a jiffy. All those around were surprised at how difficult the question was for a baby. However, they decided to explain the definition of this word. It was a kind of brainstorming...

An elegant rose just came out. Opening its innocent, perfect petals it said: “Life is an opening!

A vivid butterfly that just sat on the flower's blood-red petals claimed: “Life is freedom!

A handsome dandelion smiled at the sun. Its suave body and beautiful capillary adornment were dancing lazily in the playful wind. Greeting friendly the wind the thin flower trembled and groaned: “Life is evanescence.... bingo!.... just evanescence!

Down there, on the ground an ant was heavily carrying a straw of wheat. The burden was ten times bigger than the insect itself. It stopped for a while then drew a sigh of relief: “Life is nothing else than hard work and effort.

Up there, high in the sky an eagle was majestically wandering around and shrieked: “Life is height and freedom! I partially agree with the butterfly.

Then a soothing rain has come and whispered: “Life is tears. Only tears!

The definitions were so different. The debate was in full swing. The grass, bees, clouds, trees and even a tired lost dog – all they have tried to find the right definition for the word “life”. The baby sparrow, confused and exhausted, was already dreaming the 3rd dream while the creatures around were still thinking of life.

The night has come. A bright star beneath the moon uttered while snoring: “Life is brightness!

A man was walking on the empty street with tomorrow in his mind. “Life is a continuous search for happiness... And a crowd of disappointments...”, whispered the man.

The night went away. The dawn has comfortably “parked” itself and said: “I am the beginning of the day that comes while life is the beginning of the eternity…

Still people ask themselves what life is. To my mind life, death and love... can't be defined. One thing is clear: Life is a gift from God that should be appreciated, loved and lived.

Now I am asking myself, what will be your answer if I would ask you “For you, what does life represent?

4 Candles

Monday, November 10, 2008

4 candles were burning in an empty room... It was a pleasant atmosphere... Warm... Silence... So soft that you could hear them talking:

- I am Peace. But today people are so angry, envious, violent... They've forgotten about my existence..., complained the 1st candle.

Gradually the flame diminished and ... went out.

- My name is Faith. People claim they live peacefully without me. I think there is no reason for me to burn. While saying that the 2nd candle went out, too.

- I am Love. I am so unhappy. People can't love anymore. They put me aside. They can't even love them-selves... - these were the last words spelled by Love (the 3rd candle). It went out.

At that moment a little girl came in. She saw those 3 unlit candles and said:

- Oh! Why aren't you burning? You have to burn! Disappointed the kid began to cry...

But the 4th candle spoke:

- No, no, no! Don't cry, little kid! Don't be afraid! As long as I burn you can relight the other candles. I am Hope!

Thus, happy and serene the child took the sparkling Hope in her hand and lighted Peace, Faith and Love!

Let the flame of Hope always burn in your soul... for you to live a life enriched with these 4 precious values!

Friday, November 7, 2008

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see
LIFE with a clearer view again.”

Alex Tan

Let's “Christen” your Baby Blog!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

You face difficulties when it comes to “christening” your blog? Hakuna Matata! XOXO throws the lifebuoy! “Swim” in here and “swallow” some ideas at full speed... Smutty ones.

I guess you know the importance of the blog's title. A “colorful” title is like the appealing flavor of the scrummy cheese cake of my grandma... The more delicious the smell, the more cute you look when you drool and the more uplifting curiosity... desire to taste a piece...
Then you create super-duper combinations and associations that comfortably “park” into your mind... And remain there forever.

So, ladies and gentlemen! Just 3 drops of humor flavored with some ounces of imagination... Blend and mix the potion then put it in a special form... Abracadabra! And your blog is on top...”The funniest titles you have ever seen!”

Now let's start the christening ceremony! I've just virtually cut the red ribbon and sumptuously declare the process opened! Here below you see a collection of some virgin and free hilarious titles you are invited to generously inspire from:

ZooLand (for those who associate themselves with an animal or love animals)

Medusa with Earrings (jewelry)
Chicken with the Third Leg (diseases)
Amoeba with the Highly Developed Right Hemisphere (geniuses, IQ games)
Lord of the Dogs (about dogs)
The Chronicles of a Creeper (philosophy or chronicles of a lazy person)
The Flying Snake (blah-blah-blah, something original)
The Glittered Sheep (glamorous girls, fashion, en vogue things)
The Glow-in-the Dark Cat (mystery and notes of sensuality)
Septapus with Manicured Nails (beauty)
The Long-Eared Kangaroo (beauty)
The Giraffe Wearing Stiletto Heels (sensuality)
The Girly Shark (sensuality)
The Zebra with Dimples and Beauty Spot (beauty, flirty)
The Cow Watches News (news, cognitive)
Bulls Drink Red Bull (entertainment)


The funny PMS (women's eccentric thoughts)
Aquatic Thoughts (for divers
The Liver of the Book (about books)
Dead Love (for pessimists)
The Virtual Polyglot (cognitive, linguistic)

The Optimistic Phantom
The Pessimistic Phantom

666 Black Nuances (evil thoughts, blog of a criminal)
-isms Rule (about communism, socialism, priapism or many other -isms)
The Killer with Rose Cheeks

Diverse Objects

The Joyful Land Tank (about weapons, warriors and realistic people)
The Syrup of Tears in the Nose (for pessimists, about soap operas and dramas)
Second Hand Harley (second hand stuff)
The Elegant Teaspoon (vessels)
The Heterosexual Armchair (furniture for all)


Camouflaged Panties
Diapers for Fetishists
One Toy for All, and All Toys for One

No More Panties


Eva with no Hair (about hair and capillary stuff)
Ok.Ob (about tampons)
Venusians vs Martians (independent women)
The Lady with Testicles (strong women)

Did you like at least one?! Did you find the perfect title for your budding blog? Choose a category and invent your own titles... Just for fun...

PS. Dedicated to those who like to smile...

The Story of the Vivid Butterfly...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

or Happiness Depends on Us ...

Once upon a time there was a widower who had 2 daughters. Both ladies were very intelligent and inquisitive. They used to pose lots of questions to their father... The man always tried to come with reliable answers, explanations, facts and examples... However, there were so many things he didn't know...

Being a responsible and lovely father the man decided to offer his daughters the best education values.

Thus, one fine day, he sent his curious girls to one of his friends who was a very wise person. A kind of Osho - one who was capable to give an answer to every question and to the most complicated puzzles. He was a walking encyclopedia.

One sunny day when both ladies were wandering around the blossomed orchard one of the girls caught a beautiful butterfly. She decided to use it for fooling the wise man.

- What are you going to do with it? - asked her sister.

- I will hide the butterfly in my hands. Then I will ask the man whether the insect is alive or dead. If he says that it's dead, I'll open my hands and Voila!- the playful butterfly. I'll let it fly away.
If he says it's alive I will simply squeeze and squash the insect. Haa! This time we will deceive him! Got you!

So said, so done. Ladies came closer to the mild man who was meditating at that moment.

- Here I have a vivid butterfly. Tell me, wise man, is it dead or alive?

Peaceful and serene the wise man smiled at his little "interviewer" and said:

- It depends on you... It's in your hands...

This story deals with our present and future, too. We are the only one who are in charge of our decisions and further steps. Our life is in our hands. Like the vivid butterfly. What are you going to do with it?! - that depends only on you!

La Fin.

Life's Tree!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Make a family album.
.....Bring a smile to everyone.
Go out for a walk. Help a poor man.....
.....Talk to God. Let your inner child play.
Count the stars. Imitate someone you adore. .....
.... Finish a project.
Think. Apply to be a volunteer.
Sing.... Be happy. Make someone feel comfortable.....
Pamper yourself in a bubbly bath. Do someone a favor.
.....Listen to the birds' chirp. Continue a family tradition.
Keep your promises.
Smile. Ask for help. Be gentle. Run...
Dream with open eyes. Switch off the TV and talk. Say «Yes!»....
Laugh. Listen to a friend. Toy with your favorite toy. Promise.
Jump over the skipping rope.
Help. Change your hair-do.
«Envy» - forget this word. Admire. Love your parents.....
. Help your neighbor. Fondle a child who suffers.
....Forbid yourself to say «I can't» during a day. Seize the day!
Display your happiness. Make a gift. Accept a compliment.....
Let a puppy from the street enter your house and soul.
Feed it! Talk to it! Protect and save it! Be curious.
....Look through old pictures. Imagine the sea's waves.
Make a mistake.
Forgive. Thank God for sun.....
.....Call your friends. Tell someone «I miss you!»
Start a new day. Don't be angry today!....
..Never forget you are not alone.
Wipe your tears away...
Glorify a good deed.

Write a poetry.
Plant a tree.
Cook a cake.
Savor it.
Play games.
Read a fairy tale.
Go on the swings.

Thank those who accept you.

Plant a Life Tree in your heart and in someone's soul!

Happiness Depends on Us!

Monday, November 3, 2008

While putting the finishing touches to the sculpture of Adam, God still had a piece of clay in his hand.

- What else could I add to your "kit"? asked The Almighty.
- Mould Happiness for me, God! demanded the man.

Thinking a while, God didn't ask anything. He just put that piece of clay in the man's palm.

Or briefly saying:

God will eagerly help you to move a mountain, but don't forget to take a shovel with you.

What do you think about this idea?

Do you believe in FATE?

(to be continued...)

Coffee Relaxes... But not Now and Here!

Coffee... Hmmm, dellllllicious! I go gaga over its inviting smell...

Coffee in the morning... Kisses in the night...

This year my sister went on a vacation in Kenya, Africa.

When she came back she brought souvenirs and cute knickknacks for our family... I was gifted with:

  • a superbly crafted wooden statue of a Maasai man;

  • a safari-styled bandanna. Frankly being, the design met my taste... It reminded me of tigers, hot sand, savage... I’ve tried to put it on… But nope! It didn’t work! My first thought: “Wow! That’s so original! Should be a special way to be worn!” In fact the African capillary adornment turned out to be XXS for me (it was sewed for the little head of a 6-year girl)...

  • banana tee;

  • Ohhh! I can't refrain from mentioning at least some words about a pair of local handmade peep-toe sandals. And here again! Fiasco! One sandal was lighter than the other... Thus my sister separated 2 sandals in love forever, ever... One is in Europe and the other in Africa... 2 broken hearts! What a pity!

  • vanilla coffee...

African gifts impressed me a lot! Especially the headband and the twosome of sandals perfect for those who suffer from color blindness. The best mark was given to the local Kenyan coffee... It was fantastic! Vanilla... Sweet, warm, soft ...

That was an intro to the following “clever” test... dedicated to all you and especially to one of my anonymous visitor…

So, here you see many, many coffee beans. Some are darker... Others are lighter... Some are smooth... Others depict irregular shapes...

Now POZOR!!! There is a curious head of a man among these dandy beans... What is it doing here? – No idea!

Your task?! - Find it...

If you’ll find it in 3 seconds, tam-tadam-dam! The right hemisphere of your brain is very, very developed.

Your right brain is developed normally if you'll find that bold head in a minute.

Hmmm... poor, we, who need 1-3 minutes to locate that hidden “spot”! Our (including mine) right hemisphere reacts slowly... Scientists recommend us to eat more proteins. (I'll cry three days because of this finding, for sure! Not so long ago I was a genius!!!)

The good news is that there are brains that need more than 3 minutes to find the man's head or can’t find it at all... Ohhhh! A catastrophe! If your brain belongs to this category, you act like a three-toed sloth, a creeper, maximum like a turtle... Here proteins are inevitable... Or maybe you should buy a higher quality pair of glasses?! Clean them better!

What now? Any changes? Any heads? Don’t say you see 2 of them!


PS. I am drinking coffee... Just to relax...